It was perhaps inevitable that the young heir-apparent the Yuvaraj or the Walihad should be cossetted and spoiled from an early age.

'I wasn`t allowed to touch the ground till I was two years old, I was always carried around so that I didn't get hurt'. Being the only child of the Maharaja, everywhere you went you were the centre of attraction and everyone fawned over you. You always had people hovering around you trying to see that you never fell sick. It was more like being wrapped up in silk rather than cotton wool. You thought the whole world was rosy; I mean you never came across anything sad or anything bad, recollects a prince. You lived in a make believe world where everything was picture perfect.

Girls could be just as much spoiled as their brothers. 'I tell my children it was luxury such as cannot be dreamed of today says a princess. We used to have personal attendence to see to all our needs, combing our hair, seeing to our clothes and accessories. And one becomes so used to these things. Put your foot forward and your shoes were put on. Lift a finger and your hair was combed! We never raised our voices. We just had to look and by our gesture the work was done.

The royal children had several nurses, huzras (aides) and servants and they used to behave with other common children like real maharajas. The idea was instilled in them never to do anything yourself, with your own hands, because there's always somebody around to do it for you. When anyone from the royal family called, the servants would come running and do a namaskar. Even the very aged servants had to put their head on the ground and do namaskar and they would treat even the little children with so much respect, at that young age. So the royal children realised that they were very special somebodies; that it was their birthright to be treated like that.

State courtiers and servants were also skilled at differentiating in their attitudes and treatment towards the various royal children: 'The heir apparent or Yuvaraj would always be given the most attention and the second son got less. Or if they noticed the ruler had a favourite child then that child would get more attention and I don't think these attitudes had a beneficial effect on the little children, because they naturally grew up being jealous of each other. This estrangement really started right from childhood, which led to quarrels and strained relationships between family members in adulthood, and it certainly affected the children's minds psychologically.'

You must never let anything go to your head. Just try and be a human being.' This was instilled into most royal children so that these children did not get too spoilt. But then, again most prince and princess also had guardians who were so strict that whatever there was in the way of saluting and bands and all those things was counteracted by a Captain Whoever-he-was, was strict and taught them all about dicipline.So on other side there was that very, very strict discipline; stricter than an average citizen would have. We were taught to behave in public in a certain way, never to insult anybody, speak nicely to everybody and all those kinds of necessary virtues. They became part of our normal life and can be seen till this day in members of the royal families. In fact many guests who stay at royal homes ( which are now heritage hotels) are surprised at the warm hospitality with which they are received by members of the royal families.

The situation was the same in Gwalior, where it was instilled into all the royal children that 'no matter whether it was a poor man or a rich man, so long as he was older than you, you had to show respect.

Playing a leading role in this character-building process were the British nannies and governesses imported especially to bring a Western influence to bear on the nurseries of the grander Indian States. Many were in the traditional mould: strict and firm with their charges, and very particular about keeping to regular schedules and administering doses of castor oil once a week, the taste of which most princesses remember even upto this stay.

Their influence was undeniable, contributing to an upbringing that was a blend of East and West: The children would get up in the morning and pay their respects to the elders with a namaskar, but at the same time wish their parents 'Good morning'. At the morning meal they would eat Indian food sitting on chaurangs (stools) on the floor and the other meal would be Western food sitting at table. There were two kitchens: one was the bawarchikhana or non-vegetarian kitchen and the other was the traditional orthodox Brahmin kitchen. At the evening meal Western table manners would be taught, how to use forks and knives. This training was so you wouldn't feel awkward when the Political Agent came for dinner and when mixing with British society.

Sunday Ritual
Massages, baths and herbal shampoos were also part of the weekly Sunday ritual:
First there was an oil massage of the whole body. Each and every part was massaged by three women. One woman would hold one hand or leg, another would massage the hand while a third did the back, and the massaging was very thorough: very light strokes away from the heart and pressing very hard in the other direction. Ayah would be supervising all these ladies. I still remember, we used to hate that massage so we used to try bribing the maids, but they would say, 'No way, that Shaitan,the she-devil is sitting outside. No, we have to massage you properly.' After the oil-massage they used to apply utne, which was a soft cream made out of almonds freshly ground every Sunday morning. Then came the bath, with very, very hot water Our bathrooms were as large as bedrooms, with a big stone in the centre. We had our massage sitting on that stone and the shampoo, using no soap only shikakai, a herbal shampoo. Drying the hair was also quite a procedure. We had to lie on a charpai (string bed) under which they kept a coal fire with scented incense. A lot of smoke used to come out which dried out hair and left it fragrant. Perhaps these rituals were unusual by today's standards but compared to other princesses we were brought up in simple style.

The larger the state, the greater the status of its ruler and the less contact he had with his children.There was a fairly widespread custom of the princes being brought up by British guardians and that involved by definition living away from the parents, because if one lived with the parents then guardians weren't necessary. Once that decision was taken it meant that they had to move into a different house with a different establishment and that in turn meant that they couldn't see their parents very frequently. In many cases, the father being particularly meticulous, he laid down exactly when and for how long the children could see their parents.

The set-up was such that one wasn't able to see one's mother or father as often as one would have liked. Looking back it appears curious but the question of resentment never arose because that was the dispensation then.Recalls a prince.In many instances it was a grandfather who was the ruler, in which case his grandchildren were required to pay him regular but often rather formal visits.